This Joke IS NOT Funny

Yesterday the group People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) made available the following news release thinking it was a funny practical joke for April Fool’s Day.   Ordinarily a person needs to laugh at such nonsense in the true spirit of the day…but there’s a more serious issue that needs to be considered.   The problem is this release was actually printed or communicated by some news sources that were duped into thinking it was real.   The truly scary thought is that A SO-CALLED LEGITIMATE NEWS SOURCE would even consider ANY TRASH this radical anti-hunting group offers up in the spirit of being newsworthy.   But, apparently it happened.

Take a read:

Research Center Concludes That Hunters ‘Compensate’ for Diminutive Genitalia by Acting Out Domination Fantasies

For Immediate Release:
April 1, 2005

Contact:
Justin Jest 757-622-7382  x8108

Norfolk, Va. — While the results of the research are preliminary, scientists at the Diminutive Male Genitalia Disorder Research Organization have discovered a genetic link between small penis size and the thrill of the hunt. The organization recently began to tabulate data from a two-year study of men with Diminutive Male Genitalia Disorder (DMGD) and has posted the results on its Web site, DMGD.org.

The subjects of the study varied from men with a slight abnormality in penis size to men with pubis innius, a term for an inverted male pubic region. By tracing what has been identified as the "DMGD gene," an abnormality in the 21st chromosome was discovered. Researchers found that this abnormality appears to be consistently linked to two traits: abnormally small male reproductive organs and the ability to derive joy from killing, which starts with hunting small game and, in isolated instances, can manifest itself in homicidal acts. Research team leader Dr. Brian Upchurch and his colleagues in New Orleans, La., plan to investigate whether DMGD was a factor in the 2004 Sawyer County, Wis., incident in which a deer hunter went on a rampage and killed six other hunters.

"These findings confirm what we have believed for a long time: Hunters just don’t measure up," says PETA’s Justin Jest. "They are apparently overcompensating for their failure to hit the mark in the bedroom by blowing small animals away in the woods."

PETA intends to incorporate the findings of the study into campaign materials to combat hunting.

I’m sure the folks back in PETA’s office got quite a chuckle out of this prank.  Where it crossed the line for me was their inclusion of the hunter shootings that occurred in Wisconsin last fall.   Certainly the prank could have stood alone without involving that tragic incident.   I guess, however, what surprises me most is how a group largely comprised of women who otherwise have no interests in penises whatsoever seem to be even worried about the size of any man’s unit.   I guess it’s human nature to yearn for something you probably won’t get—no matter what the size.

© 2005 Jim Braaten.  All Rights Reserved.   No Reproduction without Prior Permission.