You Know You’re From Rural Minnesota When…

  • You know how to polka, but never tried it sober.
  • FFA was the most popular club in high school.
  • You know what “Knee-High by the Fourth of July” means.
  • You know it is traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping between the ceremony and the reception.
  • You were delighted to get a miniature snow shovel for your 3rd birthday.
  • You can recognize someone from Iowa by their driving.
  • You buy Christmas presents at Fleet Farm.
  • You spent more on beer than you did on food at your wedding.
  • You hear someone use the word “oof-dah” and you do not immediately break into uncontrollable laughter.
  • You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
  • You or someone you know was a “Dairy Princess” at a county fair.
  • You know that “combine” is a noun.
  • You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter.
  • You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions.
  • You know that creek rhymes with pick.
  • Football schedules are checked before wedding dates are set.
  • Saturday you go the local bowling alley.
  • There was at least one kid in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning… phew!
  • You have driven your car or truck on a lake.
  • You always believed that vacation meant “going up North.”
  • At every wedding you have been to, you have had to dance the hokeypoky and the chicken dance.
  • Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar.
  • The local gas station sells live bait.
  • At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
  • Your mom asks, “Were you born in a barn?” and you know exactly what she means.
  • You think that the start of deer season is a national holiday.
  • Pop is not only what you call your dad, but is the ONLY name for soda.
  • You actually understand these jokes.

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A group of Minnesota friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.  That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of a big ten-point buck. “Where’s Henry?” the others asked.  “Henry had a stroke of some kind.  He’s a couple of miles back up the trail,” the successful hunter replied.  “You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?” they inquired.  “A tough call,” nodded the hunter. “But I figured no one is going to steal Henry if I left him out in the woods!”

Special thanks to the E-mailer who sent these gems my way.

© 2006 Jim Braaten.  All Rights Reserved.   No Reproduction without Prior Permission.