Making Tough Decisions I’d Rather Not Think About
Over the past two years my wife has been after me to get our Last Will And Testament in order with our attorney. Oh sure, I’ve procrastinated on the matter for as long as I could, but quite frankly I was running out of excuses to delay it any longer. And aside from that, I knew deep down in my heart that it was something that we both needed to do without further delay.
The problem is I could find a 1,000 better things to do with my time then sit down and deal with how my worldly possessions are going to get divvied up upon the time of my passing. Sure, I understand the importance of having one’s affairs in order…it makes it easier for those still living. It also can reduce the chances of hard feelings among the living heirs. Even so, sitting down and imagining MY outdoor toys in the hands of someone else is no comfortable thought to contemplate.
I thought back to my cousin Gary who passed away nearly four years ago and left me a couple of Colt pistols in his will. I think that is the one and only time I have inherited property from outside the immediate family. Taking ownership of those pistols was sort of a surreal event. I knew how Gary cherished those particular pistols and for him to bequeath them to me meant more than transferring the pistols alone. It meant he knew I would appreciate them nearly as much as he did. Now, each time when I go to my gun safe I see those pistols sitting on the top shelf and I can’t help but think of ol’ Gary.
But today the shoe was on the other foot. I wasn’t receiving inherited property, I was the one trying to decide exactly who was worthy in my life to carry on with ownership someday of my toys. Suffice it to say picking a new owner for my guns or other outdoor gear evoked lots of serious, careful thought.
I’m sure I’ve made this statement before on this blog, but I can’t help but be reminded of the old codger who once said “when I die I hope my wife sells all my hunting gear for what it’s worth and NOT what I told her I spent to purchase it.” In other words, most spouses don’t have a clue as to the true value of most of our outdoor toys. This is especially true when it comes to our guns.
A friend of mine once inherited dozens of guns from her father’s collection and she was down-right scared of them. Unbeknownst to me, she called the St. Paul, MN police department and had them come out to her father’s home and safely remove them. They inventoried them and made sure everything was unloaded. They then made arrangements for the guns to go to a gun shop where they were sold on consignment. Needless to say she was happy to get rid of them and didn’t even care if she got paid close to their true value (which, by the way, she didn’t). When she told me this I about choked.
Nope, I’ve heard a lot of horror stories about transferring property to heirs and in many cases the folks who end up with the goods have absolutely no appreciation for what they have received. I certainly don’t want that situation to be happening to me. I want the recipients of my estate property to cherish and actually want the goods for which I no longer have a use for due to my death.
That’s why in my will there’s a provision for my estate to hold a phony money auction. That’s right. You see, my will does not specify that this gun goes to that particular person. Or this book collection goes to this person. Instead, my will instructs the personal representative empowered to carry out my will to distribute paper (play) money to all the individuals I have identified in my will. Each person will have varying amounts of “fun” money which they will then use during an auction of my outdoor toys.
Heirs can then use this phony money to bid on items to be distributed. In so doing, the heirs actually get to choose what items have the most use (or meaning) to them and can have some fun in the process. When the money all runs out…the auctioneer then hands money back out to all the bidders once again so the process can continue.
Look, years from now at the time of my death, I will likely have a fair share of property that needs to be distributed to others. I don’t want to risk making decisions on how to split things up based on what I think the other person will like. Instead, I wanted to make it fun. I want the “funny” money auction to take on a party-like atmosphere where heirs laugh and probably poke fun at me with comments like “what the hell did he buy this for” or “this thing looks brand new, did he ever use it?” You know the routine. I want the distribution of my outdoor property to be a fun-filled affair where each participant leaves shaking his head thinking…only Jim could have thought of something like this.
So, if you’re lucky enough to be mentioned in my will I might just leave you lots of money. But not so fast. This money won’t get you anything at the gas station or the grocery store. You see, if I leave you money in my will it will have the very same value as Monopoly money…just something to play with. But on one particular evening this play money might just buy you one of my favorite guns or some other fun sportsman-related item I can no longer use.
2008 Jim Braaten. All Rights Reserved. No Reproduction without Prior Permission.