With the Minnesota firearms deer hunting season just around the corner (on November 9th) I thought it might be appropriate to share some of the wisdom gleaned by attending over 35 years in hunting camp. As you prepare for your hunting camp this fall, please take this sage advice into careful consideration:
- Never trust a skinny person to pick up the morning donuts for deer camp. They will either severely underestimate how many are needed or pick up some healthy crap nobody wants to eat.
- The snoring in deer camp will be far worse than ever imagined. Just trust me on this.
- Never complain about the cook’s grub. They might actually tell you what they put in it.
- Don’t be the first hunter to come back to camp because you’re cold. Deservingly so, this person should receive a great deal of harassment from the other hunters who all wished they were back toasty and warm near the camp stove.
- Don’t bring your clothes and hunting gear to camp stored in garbage bags. Duffel bags tend to reduce the chances of getting old coffee grounds and food waste being thrown into your pseudo-luggage bag by mistake (or on purpose)?
- Position your sleeping cot as far away from the bathroom door or tent entrance as possible. Is it necessary to elaborate on this one?
- Don’t be the youngest person in camp. Always make sure there is someone more junior than you who has a stronger back for chopping and carrying heavy firewood (or a host of other menial tasks likely to be assigned by camp elders).
- Never bet more than $1 on either the first deer or during a game of camp poker. There are always hunters in the camp who will find a way to take your money.
- Beware the hunter who seems overly willing to let you use his favorite deer stand. What they’re failing to tell you is it was their favorite deer hunting stand a decade ago when it last witnessed a deer kill.
- And finally, even if you get a cell phone signal NEVER TELL YOUR SPOUSE or significant other that fact. Let them continue to think how you’re hunting so deep into the woods reaching you by text or voice is simply not an option for the upcoming few days.
There you have it. Just a few suggestions (some tongue-in-cheek) on how to best survive deer camp. What other thoughts might you add from your years of experience hunting in deer camp? Leave your thoughts below in the comments.
©2013 Jim Braaten. All Rights Reserved. No Reproduction without Prior Permission.