FRIDAY HUMOR: How The Next Presidential Election Gets Settled

Even though this reads more like a good Sven and Ole joke, I guess because we’re getting into the political season I might as well go with it as it was provided to me.   Enjoy the weekend!

The 2012 Presidential election was too close to call.  Neither Mitt Romney nor Obama had enough votes to win.  There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things.  The candidate who caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election.

After much back and forth discussion, it was decided the contest would take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Minnesota.  There were to be no observers present and both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake and return at 5 P.M. with their catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties.

At the end of the first day, Mitt Romney returned to the starting line and he had 10 fish.  Soon, Obama returned and had no fish.  Well, everyone assumed he was just having a bad day or something and hopefully, he would catch up the next day.

At the end of the 2nd day Mitt came in with 20 fish and Obama came in again with none.

That evening, the Democrats got together secretly and said, “We think Mitt Romney is a low-life, cheatin’ son-of-a-gun. Tomorrow don’t bother fishing.  Just spy on him and see just how he is cheating.”

The next night (after Mitt returns with 50 fish), the Democrats got together for the report on how the Republicans were cheating.

Obama said, “You’re not going to believe this…he’s cutting holes in the ice.”

©2012 Jim Braaten. All Rights Reserved. No Reproduction without Prior Permission.

FRIDAY FUNNY: Ole And Lena On Thin Ice

Ole & Lena lived by a lake in Nordern Minnesota. It vas early vinter and da lake had yust froze over.

Ole asked Lena if she vould valk across da frozen lake to da yeneral store to get him some smokes. She asked him for some money, but he told her, “Nah, yust put it on our tab.”20120106-085330.jpg

So Lena valked across, got the smokes at da yeneral store, den walked back home across the lake. Ven she got home and gave Ole his smokes, she asked him, “Ole, you alvays tell me not to run up da tab at da store. Why didn’t you yust give me some money?”

Ole replied, “Vell, I didn’t vant to send you out dere vit some money ven I vasn’t sure how tick the ice vas yet.”

©2012 Jim Braaten. All Rights Reserved. No Reproduction without Prior Permission.

Oh, by the way…this is how all of us Scandinavians up here in da nort country speak. Uffda!!

Friday Funny: A Little Scandinavian Humor–Minnesota Style

Ole and Sven were drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in Minneapolis and one day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.

Ole said, “I vish ve had somethin ta drink!”

Sven says, “Me too. Y’know, I hear you can drink dat yet fuel and get a buzz. Ya vanna try it?”

So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and got completely smashed.  Next morning Ole woke up and is surprised at how good he feels.  In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover!

NO bad side effects. Nothing!

The phone rang.  It was Sven who asks “How iss you feelin dis mornin?”

Ole says, “I feel great.  How bout you?”

Sven says, “I feel great, too.  Ya don’t have no hangover?”

Ole says, “No dat yet fuel iss great stuff — no hangover, nothin. Ve oughta do dis more often.”

Sven agreed. “Yeah, vell, but dere’s yust vun ting.”

Ole asked, “Vat’s dat?”

Sven questioned, “Haff you farted yet?”

Ole stopped to think. “No.”

“Vell, DON’T, ’cause I’m in Iowa.

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©2011 Jim Braaten.  All Rights Reserved.  No Reproduction without Prior Permission.